Silliness, Satire, and Shatner.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Cars I Have Owned or I Recycle!









1. 1989 – 1972 Volkswagen Type 1 (Beetle) Yellow $ 500

2. 1990 – 1969 VW Type 1 (Shift-O-Matic) Blue $ 500

3. 1991 – 1984 Dodge Colt Beige $ 1200

4. 1993 – 1982 Dodge Omni Silver $ 0

5. 1994 – 1968 Volkswagen Type 2 (Bus) Brown $ 600

6. 1994 – 1983 Toyota Corolla SR5 Blue $ 500

7. 1995 – 1981 Subaru Leone (4-door Sedan) Beige $ 700

8. 1995 – 1984 Toyota Tercel (3-door Hatchback) Blue $ 1500

9. 1996 – 1985 Oldsmobile Delta 88 White $ 300

10. 1996 – 1988 Pontiac LeMans (4-door Sedan) White $ 1700

11. 1999 – 1983 Honda Prelude Dk Grey $ 1500

12. 2002 – 1990 Cadillac Sedan DeVille Burgundy $ 0

13. 2002 – 1993 Toyota Corolla Red $ 0

14. 2005 – 1996 Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera Brown/Green $ 0

15. 2005 – 1998 Nissan Sentra Silver $ 1000

16. 2006 – 2006 Nissan Altima (5-speed Manual) Dk Blue $ 18,000



Future blog posts will have a tale about each car.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Observation.


A large woman should NOT wear a bright pink
'BIG ON THE PIG' T-shirt.

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Monday, April 20, 2009

What's Next?

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Obama bows to the King of Saudi Arabia.

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Obama glad hands Hugo Chavez.

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Obama fellates Ahmadinejad.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Snuggie Dilemma

I ordered a Snuggie online. I accidentally agreed to get another Snuggie for half price.
I actually agreed to buy 4 Snuggies. Now I have 4 Snuggies and received no Reading Lights.
I think that I snugged up.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Please, Take Your Seats


Anorectal Surgery

Isn't fundamental and anorectal a bit repetitious?

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Attacking Jesus



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And yet another reason to NOT name your child after a religious figure.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

Earlier today at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem's Old City, a good old fashioned brawl broke out! Let's go ringside and get the play by play.

Ladies and Gentlemen, in the red corner we have the Underdogs, they have been down and out for years. They suffered under the Ottomans, the Turks, the Soviets, and various petty dictators for hundreds of years. They are the ones in the Pink and Red robes, you can't hold 'em down, they are back to attack, they are making a stand in the sand, put your hands together for the Orthodox Armenian Monks!!!!!!

(Thunderous Applause)

Ladies and Gentlemen, in the blue corner, we have our current Champions, their exploits go back to the beginning of recorded time. They were the Spartans and the Athenians, the Corinthians and the Cretans, the founders of man/boy lovin', the only gift they're bringing today is a severe ass-whippin'! Put your hands together for the dudes in black, masters of the sneak attack, you want extra Feta with that, our champions, the Greek Orthodox Monks!!!!

(Extra Thunderous Applause)

The bell rings and the two sides come out swinging. This is never a fair fight.

There's a lot of love for Jesus here, but very little for the other side.

Oh, what's this? They have started before the referees arrived!



This fight is getting dirty, folks.

I'm afraid the refs might be calling it; these two sides are not throwing in the towel today. THEY WANT BLOOD!!



Wow, that was a low blow. One of the Armenians is trying to choke an old Greek woman, at least we think it's a woman, it's definitely an old Greek without a beard.

Wait, ladies and gentlemen, the refs are breaking it up.



IT'S THE JEWS TO THE RESCUE!!!

It looks to me like the Armenians have the upper hand! Those fighters in blue and pink have really opened up a can of whoop ass on the Greeks.



What's that Joe, oh yes, Santa Claus has been knocked out!

I repeat Santa Claus has been knocked out!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is one exciting fight!

The referees are getting a hold on the situation. They may get beat down by Hezbollah but they can kick some Christian ass, that's for sure!!!



It looks like the Jews have them out of the ring and into street. I tell ya, Joe, I think a couple of those Israeli Armored Bulldozers could come in handy right now, what do you think? Overkill? Well, the church is going to fall down anyway.

Let's go to the judges and see if they can declare a winner…

And the winner is …

THE ARMENIANS.

Beating up the old Greek lady, wrestling with the refs, that was good, but knocking out Santa Claus, that was the clincher!

So, congratulations to the Orthodox Armenian Monks for today's victory and tune in next week for our next bout, the Orthodox Ethiopian Monks vs. the Coptic Christians!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Entry Number One.

The Penis 2

Our hero always likes to be up on the latest trends.